Hello, my name’s Gemma and I’m a craftaholic.
As stated in my previous post, I’m a bit obsessed with crafting. But whereas some people choose one or two crafts and become really good at them (I would direct you towards my chum Joanne as a good example of this), I tend to get very enthusiastic about a craft, learn how to do it, get bored and move on to another one. Like Mick Hucknall, only with wool instead of beautiful ladies. I’m actually quite embarrassed by my lack of staying power. Let’s examine all the different crafts I’ve got really, really into for all of about five nanoseconds…
(1) Knitting. This was the crafting equivalent of a gateway drug. I took a course at the brilliant Make Lounge in Islington, where I knitted a pair of fingerless gloves; I then made another couple of pairs as Christmas presents, moved onto a scarf for my husband, a beret for a friend… then nothing. I tried to get back into it at the end of last year, as I had a few balls of lovely yarn in my stash, but they ran out before I’d managed to finish and the yarn had been discontinued so I couldn’t get any more. Now the unfinished scarf just sits forlornly on what I laughingly refer to as my crafting table. It’s looking accusingly at me right now:
“Please… kill…me…”
(2) Sewing. Specifically, dress making. My husband’s granny gave me a whole bag full of dress patterns from the 1950s and 1960s, and I had romantic visions of whipping up wonderful retro dresses for myself and never having to go clothes shopping EVER AGAIN (I hate clothes shopping). I took a course, once again at the Make Lounge (if crafting is my drug, then the Make Lounge is my dealer. DAMN THEM AND THEIR CRAFTY GOODNESS!) and made a very nice A-line skirt. Then I made another A-line skirt, but never wore it because I couldn’t be bothered to hem the thing. Then nothing. The bag full of dress patterns is now somewhere in the garage, because having them in the house was engendering feelings of intense guilt in me.
(3) Decoupage. For a while this was definitely A Thing with me. I took a class (guess where?) and came out with a decoupaged plate that even now takes pride of place in our living room:
Woo! Another thing to dust!
I made two more decoupaged plates as gifts in quick succession, and trawled secondhand bookshops for oldannuals, maps and music manuscripts that I could use for all the future projects I had planned. I was going to decoupage our hallway table in back issues of the Guardian. How much decoupage have I done since? You guessed it: zip. I recently got rid of our hallway table, as its look of mute accusation was beginning to get me down.
(4) Felting. This was a non-starter. I made a hot water bottle cover and quickly lost interest.
(5) Tea cup candles. A brief fad. That Christmas, pretty much everyone got a teacup candle off me. I have them scattered all over the house, but I don’t burn them because I can’t be bothered making more. Look! Here’s one:
“Please burn me. It is my function. I’m just sitting here getting all dusty.”
Quite pretty, and entirely pointless.
(6) Cross-stitch. This was fun, and I made a couple of cute things. Exhibit A:
Oh how witty! See how I subvert traditional cross-stitch. I bet my grandmother is so proud.
It never really captured my imagination though, so I felt no guilt when I abandoned my needle and thread.
(7) Embroidery. The least said about that, the better:
“Why have you left me like this? What the hell is wrong with you?”
It did turn out to be a useful skill to have, as last year I found myself having to teach embroidery to a class of Year 5 children. However, the process of doing so did put me off embroidery for ever (picture eighteen small people all calling out “Miss! Miss! I’ve gone wrong! Miss! Miss! Can you re-thread my needle? Miss! Miss! I’ve accidentally sewn my work to my trousers!”. FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT).
(8) Quilting. Once again, I learned this at the Make Lounge (I really should get some sort of loyalty card for those guys), with a view to making a quilt for the baby. Which I subsequently did:
That quilt took me hours to make, kiddo, so keep the bodily fluids to yourself.
I was so very pleased with how this came out. But (and this is a big but) I sewed the binding by hand and this took me such an achingly long time that it has rather put me off making another one. I guess I could cheat and use my sewing machine. Hmm. Maybe I’ve got another quilt in me.
(9) Screen printing. I had a go at this on my hen night (which was at the Make Lounge. Why don’t I just move in there?) and totally loved it. I have a lot of screenprinted gig posters up in our house and would love to make some of my own. But you need a lot of equipment and space so pffft, whatever. Maybe when we move to a big house in the country (ha!) I can get a studio and get into it properly. Something to dream about.
(10) There is no number ten… yet. However, I got a crochet kit in my Crafty Creatives taster box (a post about which is to follow). And a couple of friends can crochet, and have offered to get me started. And I’ve always fancied making a granny square blanket…
Oh heck. Here we go again.
You are a god to me 
I keep trying to follow your blog through the wordpress gizmo but it doesn’t seem to be registering so I apologise if you are getting multiple emails telling you that some fool is following you.
I too am a serial crafter and I really like starting projects.
Starting is my forte. Finishing, less so. My attention span has become ridiculously shor… Oh look, a button!
I’ve been having similar issues to tab re following you. I think I may have cracked it this time.
Your craft skillz are ace. You’ll soon be doing LOADS with your little girl, whether it be making kazoos or plaster of Paris Darleks and I’ve never made so many friendship bracelets in my life.
I must say, I am looking forward to getting crafty with her. I have happy memories of making dough dollies with my mum. She still has them dotted around her house.